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The Complainant: Raquel's View

It's audible her rinsing and expectorating from my room. I have a instinctive reaction to it.

She has lived with her housemate for a couple of years, since they both experienced separations and needed a new place to live. Gina is fun and kind, but what irritates her at home is Gina’s propensity to perform oral hygiene around the house.

Gina has ADHD and is frequently juggling three tasks at once. Often she’ll misplace her keychain in the door, which I is concerned about, or misplace where she put her brush in the morning.

I will return and see that Gina has abandoned it on the side of the kitchen counter after using it, which I finds gross, because the kitchen is for food preparation, not for spitting. It’s where produce get cleaned and glasses are rinsed. It ought not to be where I looks down and spots a bubbly residue of paste dripping towards the plughole.

In the bathroom, she has another bad habit – she drinks directly from the faucet while brushing her teeth. Rarely, infrequently, but repeatedly a session to clear her mouth.

She bends over, draws water straight from the faucet, moves it around her mouth and spits it. Raquel can hear the whole symphony from my room, and it causes a physical response. I lie there and recoil. Why not just use a cup?

I doesn't know if Gina’s mouth is touching the faucet, but I doesn't want to know. That’s the same tap Raquel employs when I washes her face and when she refills her water bottle.

Raquel believes it's not her being precious. It’s about hygiene, and recognising that shared spaces demand agreed norms. Brushing your teeth should be restricted to the bathroom basin, and performed without turning the tap into a shared water source.

She has stated that she'll attempt to cease, but every time I asks, she pauses for about a week and then carries on again.

Residing with someone with ADHD is demanding at the easiest moments, but at times I believes she uses it as an justification. Raquel isn't flawless, but if someone requests me to adjust something, she will try to take that on board. Gina could try a little harder.

The Defence: Gina's Argument

Coping with ADHD is difficult, besides, the kitchen is not some sacred food-only zone.

She states that her roommate is overstating and ignoring the context. She sometimes cleans my teeth in the kitchen sink, drinks from the bathroom faucet and forgets her stuff lying around, but that’s just typical for having a mind like hers.

Gina reside with ADHD, and that means getting distracted frequently. In the early hours before leaving, Gina will clean my teeth at the same time as wearing her shoes, or making my lunch in the kitchen because she is juggling tasks.

The kitchen basin has running water and drains just like the bathroom basin, and it all goes in the identical pipes. It’s not, as Raquel believes, some hallowed food-only zone.

I cleans the sink afterwards – I is not leaving saliva lingering around. And, in fact, the kitchen basin probably gets sanitized more often than the bathroom sink. Gina also doesn't do this every day. There’s only signs if I leaves her toothbrush on the counter, which she ought not to do but her brain overlooks to return it occasionally.

With the faucets, lots of people drink from them. Gina was raised doing it. My brother and I would often clean our teeth like this. To me, it’s normal to clean your mouth out by drinking from the faucet. Filling up a cup each time seems like extra effort.

Gina does not put my whole mouth around the tap, she just sort of hovers, or tilts the stream towards me and catches it. The way Raquel imagines it, it’s like Gina am a cat with a bowl, lapping it clean.

I likes to rinse thoroughly, so she will take around multiple rinses, which might seem too much, but it means my teeth are clean.

Washrooms are not sterile environments, and germs are all around. If not Raquel is sterilizing the tap daily, we’re both exposed to bacteria in the bathroom.

Living with ADHD is hard. Additionally, Gina might list things Raquel practices that irritate me: everyone has annoyances, but Gina accepts them because we share a home.

Gina can’t guarantee that I will change. I has tried not to move about cleaning her teeth, but she keeps forgetting.

Reader Views

Ought She Stop Brushing Her Complaints Aside?

Some believe that Raquel should realise that she and Gina already share germs just by cohabiting. Drinking from the tap is not unhygienic – although she drank on it – because the liquid is on the inside of the plumbing.

But it sounds as if she believes her condition gives her a free pass. She should respect Raquel’s discomfort and try to adjust her habits. Additionally, rinsing after cleaning your teeth removes the fluoride – you should just spit.

Others note that Raquel’s discomfort at what she sees as harmless habits is about beyond toothbrushing. If she alters her ways, she will soon find fault with something else.

It seems as if this living arrangement has run its course. Gina is correct that in common areas we must make accommodations, but she is refusing to respect a reasonable request from her flatmate.

This is less about hygiene than about consideration of boundaries. Using from the tap is fine, if there’s no physical mouth contact. But leaving a brush on the kitchen counter is gross – period.

If Raquel can learn to work with Gina’s ADHD, Gina can show willingness to change. Also, not rinsing after brushing my teeth means she will retain the benefits of her toothpaste and address two problems in one.

Your Turn to Decide

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